New York Estate Planning & Elder Law Blog
Some thirty-five years ago your writer was taught that estate planning is about getting your assets to whom you want, when you want, and the way you want, with the least amount of taxes and legal fees possible.
In the intervening time, we have learned that estate planning is more — it is legacy planning. Legacy has two meanings (1) the assets you leave, and (2) the impression you leave. Your assets will dissipate, but your impression will endure.
Were you kind and generous? Were you forgiving and grateful? Were you compassionate and did you bring light into the world, despite your setbacks.
Our readers have surely noticed over the years that these sponsored columns are not only about law, but just as often about how to become a better human being. Much of it has been learned from our interactions with clients. A client once asked if I had a degree in psychology. I answered yes, I have a Masters. When she asked where I got it, I said sitting behind this desk eight hours a day for the last thirty-five years!
Observing people you learn that perspective is everything. We consider it part of our calling to provide clients with different perspectives with which to view personal and family matters. It is not difficult to see how looking at a situation from a different perspective can completely change the way we see the world. A client came in relating how furious she was that her daughter’s abusive husband used her daughter to obtain his degree and then asked for a divorce and moved out. Yes, I said, but if it was my daughter and she had an abusive husband I would be thrilled that he had move out. Oh, the client said, “I never thought of that!” Her view of the matter had shifted considerably. Thoreau put it, “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
Working on oneself to become a better person is a classic win/win situation. Our lives become better as do those of everyone we come into contact with. The Dalai Lama says we are all selfish but we can engage in “enlightened selfishness”, doing better by others for our own sake.